nurth of the bordeer

i wunt b writeng fur a whil i am guing tu canaduh tu pic up the stan lee cup.  mi dad and mi r guing to beet up the candien polece bcuz they r so stepud and gay.  i thenk i wil du all the driveng so we can get ther in 1 secund.  mi papee sayd “EL MACHO LETS GU 2 THE CANDIEN BALET”  i sayd “WHAT?! u r gueng gay!!!”  but papee tuld mi thats whit candiens cal the boobie bar.  they r so stuped!!  i gues we r gueng 2 b the only tuf guyz ther!! ha ha ha ha ha  i m makeng a water bong out of stans cup.  oh yay!

thes letle peg went tu HELL

god damn et!!!  why duesnt aneone listen tu me?  i cant be trap up weth that peg all dae!!  I m guing tu kell her!! 

peg: ABEY, …ABEY, …ABEY, …ABEY, …ABEY

elmacho: what the hell du u want?

peg: HI ABE!     I LIKE MEEETY!   WERES MY MOMY?  IM A BEG FAT BABY!

elmacho: shut up, i am takeng car of mi busness stuped blubber whal!!!!

peg: OK ABE, I LOVE YOU ABEY!!

elmacho: that es DISGUSTENG!

peg: OK ABEY!  I LOVE MEEETY  I KNOW A SONG    WERE ES MY DEBEL?   I LIKE PNUT BUTER!  HI ABE  WHIT IS YUR BUSNES ABE? 

elmacho:  wil u SHUT UP AND GO TU HELL!!!  acutely du you wint tu be a drug mule?

peg: OK ABEY!!

elmacho: finale u r good fur somthing!  then im sending u tu see al your frends at lolypop

peg: YEAH!!  I M GOOD GIRL!!!  I LOVE U ABE

elmacho: of course u du babe….

mi dae

a lut of peple wunder what i du all dae.  I AM BUSY STUPED!!  I hav tu test mi dade’s car fur him OH YEAH!!! COOL GUYS!!!  I mad a movey fur u tu c what i do.

 

oh man

i dun leke mi ant jenai AT ALL!!  but sum ladee sade bad stuf on her guy “WORKING CLOW”  that esn’t nece becaus she dusen’t hav anytheng to care abut except that.  i m haveng a parte thes weekend ef yu can come.  i am gung tu pee on the stanley cup!  oh mi god!!  can u send mi a newspaper cliping with me in it?  thanks.

vakshun

i wint on vakshun lest wek to mi bruther spiks hous.  he es duing gud.  we had meetbals, the macaroni, pizza and italin bred. ets not ez keping yur guns pumped.  also we had tu KICK EVRONES BUTT!!!  spik es a ninga and he killed evryon weth a kick tu the brain!!!!  i smoked 6 cigirets and punched two buses in tu the air.  everone died.  then we wint to a bar and had so miny bers.  spik is guing tu tak car of mi peg problim! ha ha ha  im a made man so i kant du et, tu risky!!

 

ant moli

ant moli has ben et mi hous.  she es prety ok, but she es a no-et-al!!!!  dusn’t smel as bad as ant jenai at lest! her r factz abut ant moli

-she lekes rap

-she es geting 6 crab ranguns frum mi 4 her berthdae (half off)

-she hats that seck peg as much as mi!!!

-she es ez tu pic pocket

ha ha ha oh yeh!!! 

i gut spamed

mi mame sint a spam tu mi.   im guing to typ et now!

Where/when did we meet?___abes talle ho/ bills, ny_______________
 
Take a stab at my middle name?__i wood leke to stab u!!!!___________
 
Color of my eyes?___gray_______________
 
Do I have any siblings?__WHAT?!_______________
 
What’s one of my favorite things to do__wich tv__________
 
What ’s my favorite type of music? ___sken flut_______________

 Am I shy or outgoing?__stepud_______________________

 Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?__ha ha ha u r a nerd!_________________
 
Any special talents?__warm taco___________
 
How many children do I have?___1 i gues, mi ______
 
If you and I were stranded on a desert island,  what would I bring?___a tv______________

wit es mi wurst part? ___smell and brain______

wit don i do gud?____womins wurk________